0. Der Brief

The first note he recieved was brief, and although he read it seventy times seven times, the message remained as simple as a noodle-cooking witch:

By Divine Wish of Our Great and Honorable King Philleas F. the Short

It is ordered that the Free-Citizen [the boy's name] must proceed to his nearest Military-Cleaning-Compound and await further instructions. Under no circumstance should the Free-Citizen delay his arrival at MCC more than a week from the date stamped on this letter.

Godspeed Free-Citizen
H.R. Department, Military-Cleaning-Compound

Everybody in the house uproared the moment the letter came by standard delivery mail. Once the mother had calmed her sobs, and the children subdued their nagging questions, the father spoke with a clear blubber and said, Oye mira la fecha, and everybody looked at the date. Five days had passed since it was stamped, and so, quite naturally, the boy turned blue in the face.

The mother found new strength for her cries, Oh Dios, Oh Dios, she said; while the rest of the children nagged as well as they could. Once again, the father's voice blubbered the nonsense out as he spoke wisely, Tienes dos días güey, así que mejor te vas ahorita al mercado y te compras una maleta. Algo me dice que no regresarás en un buen rato, said the five-foot father, as he extended up a piece of money-currency to the still-a-pendejado boy. The boy grasped the money, and kneeled to brace his loving father. A second later, the father cleared his throat, and at that very omen, the boy sprung out the house.

Prologue

It is said that in every great journey, one that makes the heart wonder and grin, the hero must always come from a humble origin. And as such it is that he must depart his simple homeland and his sober father and unruly friends -and even his wife and kids, although that's a bit harsh I think...-, to take glory in deeds that make the fair ladies swoon and the courageous envy.

Such a story I wish to tell, from a boy that a man he came to be, that far from his northern town and northern ways he came to part, to find in yonder lands amazing sights for us to behold. And "No-Te-Mames" they came to say, for such sights were delightfully bold, and as boldly delightful as they once were through the eyes of the unsuspecting boy.

This of course is no simple task, I believe, with much to be said and much to crop out. None the less I hope, curious reader, that you will find in these stories a reason to, like the boy in this poor Bildungsroman, fly moderately high over small and shallow seas. May risk-assessed adventure be with you!

Note:
The following entries may or may not be written in english, español, deutsch or any other language I find adequate. They may or may not contain fiction, non-fiction, thinly-veiled autobiography, collage, hypertext, photos, drawings, Wurst, Bier oder Wein. Musik auch.